Hello again adoring public (i.e. moms and dads and our *true* friends:). Now the moment you've all been waiting for . . . Jed's fantastical 40 second motorcycle adventure!
Jed's version of events:
With fans lining both sides of Luang Nam Tha's main thoroughfare, I took off from the motorbike-rental place like an illegal speedboat down the Mekong. Pedal to the metal; I passed 20, 30, 40, 60, 90 miles per hour in a matter of seconds. Little did I know what was crouched behind the parked minivan down the road.
The cutest, most adorable baby otter darted into the middle of the street and peeped its little peep at me as I came thundering down the road. "Swerve!" I thought, "swerve, goddamn you! Save the baby otter." And swerve I did. I clambered up onto the bike seat, and prepared to spring off at the last second. I sent the bike hurtling into a construction site as I lept to safety.
In a last ditch effort to save the only reported Mekong otter in all of SE Asia, I went crashing ass over feet over head -- in a manly way, of course -- into the Luang Nam Tha curb. As I ducked my head and rolled, spontaneous applause erupted from all around. "OUR HERO!" they cried in Lao, I assume.
Jen's version of events:
After days of pleading and drooling over the European travelers cruising around on their motorbikes, I gave in and agreed to rent a motorbike to travel to the far northern village of Muang Sing (I'm adventuresome! I take risks!). As the rental dude showed Jed and I our 125 cc Korean-made bike, I thought that if the Lao people could drive with a family of 4, baby on the back, a dog, a basket of pineapples and an 18 foot pole, little ol' Jed and I could surely make it.
Rental dude gave Jed a .3 second lesson in shifting gears, and despite this being Jed's first time both on a motorcycle and driving stick-shift, I felt confident he could do it (as Julie Hilliard once exclaimed, "Is there anything Jed ISN'T good at the first time he tries it??). In a small cloud of dust, Jed slowly pushed off in first gear, lumbered along the main street for about 9 seconds at a liberal 4 miles per hour, wobbled out of his lane to the left and, in an apparent effort to turn around, gunned it into a nearby shrub where the bike tilted over and delivered Jed into a bed of tulips - thank goodness he was wearing his helmet!
Always the concerned girlfriend, I rushed to his aide and mended the scratch on his finger and small engine burn on his calf. Rental dude laughed, and then gleefully produced the contract requiring us to pay for damages (lucky us). 50,000 kip and a major loss of Jed's ego later, we chose to forgo the motorbike this time around after all.
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1 comment:
Love this post! It's clear Jed's motorcycle riding ability comes from his mother's side. I remember riding on the back of my cousin Paul's motorcycle around his neighborhood in Queens, NY (Laurelton) - no doubt a similar ride to Jed's, though I managed to stay on...especially because my cousin was driving. Glad you escaped with just minor bruises....
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